Beyond the Myth of the Self-Made Person: The Power of Mutual Support
We celebrate the lone genius, but the truth is that no one succeeds alone. Our greatest achievements emerge from cooperation, not isolated effort.
"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men." - Herman Melville
We've all heard the saying "no man is an island." Yet in today's individualistic society, it's tempting to believe we can accomplish everything on our own through sheer determination and willpower. The tech industry in particular champions the lone genius who changes the world. We celebrate stories of entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs and Elon Musk who seemingly single-handedly build massive companies. However, this mythology obscures a deeper truth - no matter how brilliant or driven, no one succeeds entirely alone. Even visionaries like Jobs and Musk relied on teams, partners, and communities.
The reality is that human progress depends on cooperation and collective effort. As anthropologist Margaret Mead observed, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." In our interconnected world, we cannot separate our achievements from the family members, teachers, mentors, collaborators, employees, customers, and society that support us. Simon Sinek encapsulates this fact in his simple but profound statement: "You can't do it alone, so don't pretend you can. Together is better."
This essay will unpack Sinek's quote and explore why we need each other to fulfill our potential. First, it will examine the science behind collaboration and synthesize key research on group productivity. Next, it will provide examples of collaborative projects that achieved what no individual could accomplish alone. It will then present and address counterarguments that cooperation does not always deliver better outcomes. Finally, it will discuss the psychological barriers to asking for help and propose steps to creating a more cooperative mindset. The goal is to demonstrate clearly that we are wired for partnership and perform best when we embrace interdependence. By lifting up the power of togetherness, I hope to inspire a renewed commitment to collective effort in rising to society's greatest challenges.
The Science of Working Together
Decades of research across multiple fields conclusively shows that groups outperform individuals on complex tasks. In a 2011 study, Carnegie Mellon business professor Anita Woolley identified a collective intelligence factor that explained a group's ability to effectively work together on difficult problems. IQ did not predict group performance. Instead, groups with high collective intelligence shared qualities like social perceptiveness, equality in participation, and empathic accuracy.
MIT Center for Collective Intelligence founding director Thomas Malone reviews similar findings in research on group vs. individual decision making, creativity, and prediction. Across these experiments, groups consistently propose more solutions, make fewer factual errors, and outpredict even their most accurate individual members:
"The power of collective intelligence is that by connecting with others, and using this as part of how we think, we can go beyond our individual limitations of knowledge and ability." - Thomas Malone
Working together does not just improve outcomes on specialized tests. Collaboration also leads to real-world success in business and science. A 50-year RAND study found interdisciplinary scientific teams far more impactful, producing research cited more frequently and patented more often. In the tech world, open source communities achieved things proprietary software could not through collaboration. The same holds in manufacturing, healthcare, and other fields. Different minds bring different perspectives, allowing groups to overcome blindspots and create synergistic solutions. As the adage goes, none of us is as smart as all of us.
However, effective collaboration does not happen automatically. Harvard psychologist Richard Hackman identified five conditions for successful teams: clear direction, competence diversity, commitment to a common goal, a supportive context, and good communication patterns. High collective intelligence groups were distinguished by behaviors like taking turns, building on each other's ideas, and active listening. Project Aristotle, Google's study on team effectiveness, similarly concluded psychological safety and interpersonal trust are critical. The magic is not simply gathering talent but getting it to combine well.
In summary, overwhelming evidence shows we are wired for collaboration. Teams consistently outperform even the best individuals across domains, provided certain communication and psychological safety conditions are met. The following examples will illustrate that it is when we work together towards a common purpose that human enterprise achieves the impossible.
The Power of Working Together
Human progress is propelled forward by collaborative work. Our greatest institutions, discoveries, and accomplishments are products of cooperation, not solo flights of genius. Some notable examples include:
The Encyclopedia Britannica - At the height of the Scottish Enlightenment, Colin Macfarquhar and Andrew Bell conceived the audacious goal of condensing all human knowledge into a single publication. The first edition of what became a 32 volume work required over 100 contributors ranging from eminent scientists like Thomas Malthus to skilled tradespeople like typesetters and engravers. The Encyclopedia Britannica remained a standard reference for over two centuries.
Polio Vaccine - The 1950s race to develop a polio vaccine pitted Jonas Salk and Albert Sabin against each other. While history remembers Salk and Sabin, their breakthroughs relied on teams at the University of Pittsburgh and Cincinnati Children's Hospital. Collaboration between scientists, fundraisers, political authorities, and over 1.8 million child test subjects allowed rapid large-scale trials proving the vaccines' safety and efficacy.
Apollo 11 Moon Landing - The 1969 moon landing stood as humanity's greatest technological feat for decades. It was the work of over 400,000 NASA employees and contractors. The Saturn V rocket alone was developed across multiple NASA centers by lead contractor North American Aviation. Every component likewise emerged from cooperative work across the American industrial and scientific complex.
Pixar Animation Studios - A small division of Lucasfilm in 1979, Pixar brought computer animation into the mainstream through hit movies like Toy Story, Finding Nemo, and Up. Led by visionaries like John Lasseter, Ed Catmull, and Steve Jobs, Pixar nonetheless relied on the creativity and technical skill of its entire workforce. No single animator makes a Pixar film. Directors depend on storytellers, artists, producers, musicians, and computer scientists working in unison.
The Linux Operating System - Begun as a hobby in 1991, Linux now dominates servers and supercomputers. Its open source model stands as a leading example of collaborative development. Thousands of volunteer programmers and companies worldwide iterate on Linux to rapidly add capabilities as computing evolves. This communal process allows adaptation in a way no closed product can.
These examples highlight what groups can accomplish through effective teamwork. However, some argue cooperation does not always enhance outcomes, as groupthink and diffusion of responsibility can also occur. It is true that collaboration introduces potential downsides which must be navigated. So how do we distinguish when working together versus individually is appropriate?
The key is considering task complexity. For simple or purely technical tasks, individual work is often more efficient. But research shows the more cognitively demanding and multidimensional a challenge, the more collective intelligence improves results. This aligns with common sense - it makes little sense to crowd source writing a straightforward memo. But tackling complex issues like climate change mitigation requires diverse insights from scientists, economists, activists and more. We must thoughtfully recognize when a team approach is called for.
Additionally, strong leadership and group norms minimize collaboration pitfalls like social loafing. Yale psychologist Marissa King examined productive teams across sectors, advising in her book Social Chemistry that effective leaders “create a culture in which each individual feels they can’t let down the team." Bad collaboration is not inherent to the approach but due to poor management. With care in group assembly and oversight, we access the full power of cooperation.
The preceding examples demonstrate that when thoughtfully applied to complex challenges, working together produces astonishing progress that no individual could replicate alone. However, we often hesitate to collaborate because we falsely see asking for help as displaying weakness. The next section discusses this barrier and how we can shift mindsets to embrace interdependence.
Embracing Interdependence over Independence
Sinek's quote resonates because it speaks to our deep-seated yet counterproductive cultural myth of the self-made person. We routinely deify singular entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs while forgetting the teams and conditions enabling their success. This false narrative leads many to avoid asking for help when attempting ambitious projects, clinging to an irrational faith that we must accomplish things independently to prove our worth:
"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan
Of course, determination and personal initiative are important. But believing we can do everything alone is foolish arrogance. Stoic philosopher Seneca addressed this tendency two millennia ago when he observed, “To wish to be wise alone, to be able to do everything oneself evinces a very vain spirit.” As the research and examples above demonstrate, we are simply not designed to operate in isolation. No great leader shuns all support. However, making the psychological shift from independence to interdependence takes humility and courage.
My friend James struggled with this when starting his nonprofit. Despite lacking experience in fundraising, he refused to ask his well-connected father for donor introductions. James feared needing help meant he wasn't capable enough. But once he overcame ego and tapped into his father's network, donations increased exponentially. Like James, we must recognize when it's time to rely on others' abilities alongside our own. How can we get better at identifying needs and embracing interdependence?
First, honestly assess your strengths and limitations. Consulting others demonstrates self-awareness, not inability. Ask yourself, "What skills and experience am I missing?" Identify gaps you need filled.
Next, reframe help as empowerment, not dependence. You are inviting participation in something meaningful, not burdening others. People enjoy contributing expertise. Supporters gain fulfillment enabling your vision through collaboration.
Additionally, communicate willingness to reciprocate assistance down the line. Relationships strengthen when all commit to sharing skills as needed. No one is purely giver or taker. Accept and provide help interdependently.
Lastly, appreciate that working together creates emotional bonds beyond practical progress. The camaraderie generated through united effort endures. Shared experience builds intimacy and trust that sustains you through all seasons.
By building a mentality of interdependence over independence, we open ourselves to community's power. We are each threads woven together into society's tapestry, made stronger by mutual reliance. Though we may stand out as individuals, our brightest colors shine within the collective design. Alone we are fragile threads; interwoven, we are transformed.
In Conclusion
Simon Sinek’s simple but profound statement “You can't do it alone, so don't pretend you can. Together is better” encapsulates an essential truth about human nature. We are wired for collaboration and do our best work in partnership with others. Countless examples prove that by combining our talents we can achieve what no individual can alone. However, we often resist asking for help out of ego and cultural mythologies of the self-made person. With care in group assembly and leadership, we can minimize potential downsides of collaboration while accessing its immense power. Shifting our mentality from independence to interdependence requires self-awareness, humility, and embracing mutual growth through cooperation.
As Martin Luther King Jr. expressed, "We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” When we lift each other up, we rise together.
You can’t do it alone, and that’s okay. Together is better.